““Dear Swamiji as long as I remember my identity how can I not expect…”

https://youtu.be/Y0zAT252F_g

This is a question

“Dear Swamiji as long as I remember my identity how can I not expect anything for my actions and inactions?”

Wow. Understand how cancerous growth has happened in your identity. It is like your very identity is filled with this tumor of expecting. See the very pattern with which you have built your identity is cancerous. It is cancerous. Be careful. How many of you are having this problem. All of you be aware it is cancerous. It is so unfortunate. The moment you start building your identity, you feel expecting something for your actions and inactions is the rule. No. it is not.

I have a story. One guy is sitting with his friend and boasting. I have a perfect son. The friend is asking. Does he smoke? He says no. Does he drink? He says no, he does not. Does he ever come home late? No he does not. The friend says I guess really you do have perfect son. How old is he? The guy says he will be 6 months old next week.

So unfortunate, only children have this discipline; only as a child you live to play, you live to act without expecting for your actions and inactions. Society is so cruel. Human society is so cruel. The seeds of the cancer is sown the moment you start developing your identity. I can tell you it is a conspiracy against humanity. In our Gurukuls, kids should be taught to work as a play. They should be able to work without bothering about the results. It’s not that they will not be working. They will work day and night. They should not even be given time to think about the results.

Understand you are saying here as long as I remember my identity how can I not expect anything for my actions and inactions?

Oh god! If your identity is so penetrated, built on this pattern of result for your actions and inactions, I think the whole identity should be discarded. The whole thing should be discarded. It’s a serious crime. Then the very identity which you are carrying will be so violent; either towards others or towards yourself. I tell you, when there is a inbuilt expectation for your actions and inactions it is so dangerous, it is a difficult to live around you. Nobody can live around you. I tell you even you cannot live around you happily.

See, so many of us can’t live around ourself happily. You try your best to go to this vacation that vacation but all vacations you carry yourself what to do. The biggest suffering you are having in your life is you. That’s a biggest luggage. I tell you, it’s a very serious thing. Somebody says as long as I remember my identity how can I not expect anything for my actions and inactions? It’s like you are convinced only a six month old baby can be disciplined. See this guy is convinced, that’s why he is bragging about his child not smoking and not drinking, not coming home late; because he is only 6 months old. Same way you are also convinced.

How this guy feels if you are grown up you should be doing everything. So same ways you start believing if you have identity you have to expect something for your actions and inactions. No, it is not required. Constantly expecting something for actions and inactions is a disease. Don’t you understand it takes away the very joy of living, very joy of action? I tell you from my bio-memory. Distress and eustress both are dangerous. Your body cannot discriminate between distress or eustress. Means the stress you create by your failure is distress, the stress you go through by your success is eustress. Even if you achieve what do you want, your body experiences certain stress; it is called eustress. It is so unfortunate your body cannot discriminate between distress and eustress

I tell you both stress are not good for the system. Both stress create tremendous irritation, agitation, resistance towards your existence. If you are feeling by remembering your identity you are not able to go beyond the expectation for your actions and inactions, just be unknown to yourself, that’s a solution. I am giving you straight technique. Sit with yourself. Decide all ideas I know about me are imperfect. Let me wait for the complete idea to happen in me. All ideas I carry about me is imperfect. Let me wait for the right idea to happen in me. Sit with yourself. At least for next few days whenever you are able to sit any thought coming, any disturbance happening in you is just extension of what you know as you. Visually throw that away and sit, ‘ehh whatever I know about me as me is imperfect.’

I tell you, you will learn the art of living without expecting anything for your actions and inactions. You see I am not even saying by not expecting you are going to lose something, you are not going to receive your pay check, no. I am saying don’t reduce your capability of delivering. Don’t reduce your capacity, don’t reduce your creativity, don’t reduce what you offer because you measure what you are getting is lower than what you are offering. Your mind is cunning. What you offer always looks higher than what you receive. By innate nature you value your existence more than this whole world. Your existence is actually more than this whole world but you can’t expect that whole world will be legally registered to your name because of your existence. It is cosmically registered in your name but unfortunately you start suffering with the perversion only when it is legally registered in your name it is yours.

Please understand by nature your existence is more costly, more worthy, than anything offered in the world, anything of the world. But when I make this statement you make a misunderstanding, wrong understanding, ‘Oh! Then it means just because I exist whole world should be written to me legally. It should obey me legally’ which is not right understanding. That is why you go on feeling anything given to you is less than your existence, is not complete, is not enough. Be unknown to yourself.

Sit everyday whenever you can. Sit with this clarity. Be unknown to myself. Only when you are established in this cognizance anything you do can be called as service. Otherwise all your ideas about service, straight will lead you do depression and suffering. It’s a simple practical clarity.