Science of Relationships 29th Aug 2011 Bhagavad Gita

Understand the science of relationships. It is not just the phenomena of the mind, it’s a phenomena of the body. Do not collapse, relationships, please understand. Do not illogically collapse relationships. It will directly affect, some part of your body. Unless you are logically completely convinced, that this relationship can’t be maintained, this is going to be abusive, it is going to be disturbing and disrupting your life, don’t collapse any relationship.

That is why, I always insist, when people come to me asking they want to break their family, they want to go for divorce. I tell them wait, wait for some more time. They say, “no-no Swamiji, anyhow I have decided. I can’t live with her. I can’t live with him. Better let me break now. Why torture.” I tell them, no! If you are tortured, your muscle memory and bio-memory will strongly start believing this is more disruptive, this is not the way you want to live, then if you break, you will not have any physical diseases.

But before your bio-memory or muscle memory is convinced, only when your head, the mind is convinced, if you break, the collapsing will simply turn into a disease inside you. That is why I insist, wait, wait for some more time. Whether your muscle-memory or bio-memory changes your decision or it is going to support your decision, let’s see. Let us see how, your mind, is able to continue.

Here, many parts of the Arjuna’s bio-memory is shivering because, they are going to die. When Drona dies, naturally the bio-memory of Arjuna’s shoulder has to die. The strength in Arjuna’s shoulder, has to disappear. When Bhishma dies, the tremendous energy he gets by social commitment, the parental conditioning, has to die. When Shakuni dies, when Karana dies, the tremendous energy he gets by the anger and violence has to die.

Understand, when your enemy is dead there is nobody to invoke energy in you. If you are driven only by anger and violence. Naturally a kshatriya (‘क्षत्रिय’) like Arjuna, surely, much of his energy, is from anger and violence. Anger and violence is, at least, fuel for majority of his bio-memory. That is his petrol tank. That is his fuel. So even, the enemy is dead, some part of you, is going to die. Something is going to disappear.

Now he is facing, the naked reality. Please understand, many time you think, “Aah, what is there? If that situation comes I’ll face it.” But when it comes you understand the weight of that situation. The gravity of the situation. All courage, valor, power, of Arjuna, is suddenly disappearing. He feels, he did not plan for it.

There was a man who would regularly pray to god that he wins a lottery. One day he was abusing god, “What is this? For so many years, I am praying, praying, praying to you. And I am doing all kinds of prayers, all forms of worships; from pouring milk to the showing camphor. All the puja, all the homa. Why, I am not winning a lottery?” God was tired of hearing his abusal, just appeared and said, “Fool, why don’t you buy a lottery ticket at least for once!”

He was running his life without even planning.

Arjuna is not able to face the situation he has invoked upon himself. The power of relationship, relationships are so strong, Arjuna is not able to handle it. I tell you, every relationship plays certain role in your inner space. Not just the people who brought you up or spent time with you. Even ordinary person who gave you one meal, one piece of cloth, one day shelter, even they all play some role in your muscle-memory. Somebody who gave you food one day, if he dies, at least one day your muscle-memory will be shrunk. Will not be alive, active.

When you give, just one meal or one piece of cloth or even one flower to the Master, the connection becomes so strong. Especially if lot of feelings, emotions, sacred sentiments associated with that offering. Krishna says in the Gita,

पत्रम पुष्पम फलम तोयम

(patram pushpam phalam toyam)

(patram: leaf, pushpam: flower, phalam: fruit, toyam: water)

Just one fruit, one flower or one leaf, with the sacred sentiments, with sacred feelings is enough. Relationship with fire, however small it is, burns you completely. You can’t say, “no no, only a small match stick was put on my cloth.” Even if it is a small match-stick, I burns you. Same way, even if it is one small flower, offered, it just, makes your whole being, alive.

In my experience I have seen many time when people bring something I’ll see; you see if there is lot of sacred sentiments, emotions, devotion associated to it, even the object I will see it as too big. Actually, I eat only that emotions which is brought. I may not eat that, whatever they brought physically. But when I touch, I swallow their sacred sentiments. I enjoy the devotion with which they brought.

Whether it is a, some sweet, or a flower, or a cloth, or just a paduka, anything, when I touch, I accept, the emotion which is ‘Huge,’ sitting on that object.

With every action, some form or other, relationship gets built in your life. If that relationship is with a normal man, it kills you even while you are alive. If it is with enlightened being, it keeps you alive even when you are dead.