“Let's analyze now the deeper things.”

Let's analyze now the deeper things. Sometimes joyful thoughts, sometimes suffering, sometimes joy, sometimes suffering. It just goes on this way, that way. Too many thoughts are continu- continuously happening. Sometimes something happened 10 years ago, sometimes something is going to happen 2 years after this. Something about past, something about future, something going on continuously. Something is going on continuously this way and that way.

Usually you don't see the thing as is going on. This is the way it happens but you don't see. What you do? You either pick up... usually you pick up all the suffering thoughts and clutch them into a shaft and say: "Life is suffering." Am I right? Anybody I ask, “Please tell me about your life”, first line introduction is "Nobody has suffered like me, Swamiji. Even my enemy should not suffer." Everybody, even in that they want to be in the top. Even in that they want to be in the top. They don't want to be in the second.

Please understand, it's not that your whole life was suffering, but when you remember, clutch all the suffering, painful incidents and remember, you decide your whole life is suffering, your whole life was suffering. If I have to give an example, from the young age you remember only the painful things. See, the low mood or depression you had 10 years ago, the low mood or depression you had 8 years ago, the low mood or depression you had 6 years ago or the low mood and depression which you had one year ago - it happens because of different reason at different time and different situation. It is your response to the different situation at different time, different reason. But if you connect all those depression and see, what you will decide? “My whole life was depression, my whole life was depression.”

If you generalize all those experience, connect and see, what you will see? Whole life is depression. Please sit straight. The moment you start thinking ‘your whole life was depression’, what you will do now? Now you're ready to create more depressing incident for your life. Or you will be just waiting; in the conveyor belt so many things are going on. This is like a conveyor belt. So many thoughts are going on but what you will pick up? You will pick up only depression, connect your shaft, extend your shaft. So many objects will go on continuously. You will pick up only the parts which will create more depression and connect; because you strongly believe your life is a great pain shaft. The moment you believe your life is a long pain shaft, unconsciously you will be connecting, collecting, waiting for more and more painful incidents and thoughts.

Even if some joyful things happen, first thought will come to you is, “It will go away in 2 days”, but if some painful things happen you don’t think it will go away in 2 days. You think, “Oh it has come back, it has come back.” Understand, what you believe unconsciously you pick up only these same kind of thoughts and create a shaft. Very rarely you create joy shaft. How you create? All joyful things you connect and create a joy shaft. One important thing, the problem with the joy shaft is, you attribute that joy to some outer cause.

Please understand, you attribute that joy, why that joy happens you have some idea - maybe because of eating or drinking or lust or some pleasure. The moment you have an idea about the joy shaft, you try to retain that same object, same situation again and again around you, am I right? Same person or same job or the same situation around you. But the problem, second time the same person or same place or same situation or same object does not give you the same excitement. Am I right? That is why we call Honeymoon not Honey Sun. Understand, it means how long the moon will stand? What is the life of the moon? 16 days. The emotion also will stand only for 16 days; that is why Honeymoon. Have you heard the word Honeysun? No.

See, things will be fanta.., things will be great, very fantastic and fantasy based. It will be very fantasy. As long as you start living together. There's no such thing as eternal lovers. All you need to do to eternal lovers is: Let this Romeo-Juliet, Ambikapathy-Amaravathi, all these fellows Laila- Majnu or this what is this guy? Devadas and I forgot her name. Parvati. Anyhow, whoever they may be. All you need, the only treatment they need is 6 months living together, that's all. No, that's all. All the eternal love will disappear. No, it'll disappear.

See, when you smell only the scent smell the love will be there, fantasy will be there. When you start smelling the sweating smell, over. You know the other person is just the body like you. Larger than life-size idea will disappear in the mind. See as long as you see, you see in distance, the larger lifesize figure will be there in the mind. The moment, early morning when you get up you see the other person, what will happen? Larger than the lifesize figure will disappear. That is why I tell you the antidote for love is 6-months marriage. No, I don't think, see actually all these fellows see their lives; Laila-Majnu, Ambikapathy-Amaravathi, Devdas-Parvati, Romeo-Julliet all these fellows, none of them lived together. Don't you see the truth? None of them lived together, none of them lived together. That is why this eternal love.

Somebody is asking how did Shiva-Parvati. They never had fantasy. Understand, they completely lived, accepted each other, accepted the other person; it's very rare. Surely I don't think neither you are Parvati nor your husband is Shiva. I can be sure about that.

Anyhow, please understand when you create a joy shaft, you try to elongate but you can't elongate, why? Because the same object or the same person or the same situation does not create same excitement again. Here please understand the paradoxical truths of life. If you create an idea, shaft ‘your whole life is a suffering’; maybe you can call this as a pain shaft - Idea that your whole life is a pain shaft. What you will be doing? You will be continuously unconsciously picking up only painful thoughts and things and connecting and creating more pain and suffering. Or if you create an idea - your life is a joy shaft, again what you will be doing? You will be trying to create same situations, ideas, persons which create that joy but the problem is they don't create same excitement.

Whether you tried to elongate this shaft or this shaft, whether... sometime, one more thing, with a pain shaft unconsciously you will be trying to elongate but consciously you will try your best to break it. Am I right? Consciously what you will be doing? You will try your best to stop the pain. Please understand, whether you try to elongate this shaft or stop this shaft, whether you try to elongate this shaft or stop this shaft... usually you won't stop, you will only try to elongate. Whatever process you may do whether trying to elongate or stop, whether trying to elongate or stop where you end? You end up with suffering. Just try what here you are doing? If you.

Please understand, step-by-step I will explain. Pain shaft - unconsciously you will be constantly picking up painful things and connecting and elongating. Then naturally what is added to you? Pain, more pain. If you try to stop this shaft, break it, were you able to break? Anybody? No. Your struggle to break, what happens? It creates only more and more struggle. I have seen people, they come to Me and ask, “Swamiji, I have so much stress. I went to a meditation class to reduce the stress. I am not able to reduce the stress; that has even one more stress.” Not able to have silence has become one more trouble. ‘I am not able to control the mind’, ‘I am not able to stop my worrying’ has become one more worry. So whether you are elongating or stopping, you are landing up in only more stress, more suffering, more pain.

Same way here - here usually you will never try to stop the shaft. You will only try to elongate the shaft; but what happens? You can't because the same object, same situation, same things does not bring the same excitement. So naturally you struggle, struggle, struggle to have the joy shaft but what happens finally? You only end up. So any process to do with any shaft leads only to? [“pain”]

Please understand now you need to know an important secret, very important. Maybe you can say this is one of the important initiation. You can neither elongate the shaft nor break the shaft because this shaft itself is imaginary. Please understand, only this exists. This line exists, flowing of different thoughts exist in you. It's your being, happening; but this connection, picking up and connecting happens only in your imagination. This is what we call, which is not there but which troubles you as if it is there, Maya.

Please understand, this shaft does not exist - the pain shaft. But you believe that your whole life is a pain. Your belief is the only power to this shaft.

Can you just sit straight and... I can very clearly see your eyes and understand whether you understood or not, whether it has gone inside you or not. If it has not gone inside you, I will again repeat or try to expand more. If you are sitting with closed eyes and meditating I will not be able to find out. Please do not meditate at least for next half an hour. Afterwards when I ask you that time you can meditate. Now please sit with open eyes.

Understand, during pregnancy when a mother carries a child, the very Shiva energy is working on her body to create a baby. Same way during initiation the very energy of the God, Divine is working through the master to give birth to you. So, now it is time, initiation process. Sit intensely and sincerely. Receive it.

This thought flow exists in you, no doubt. But picking up - connecting happens only in your imagination. You can neither elongate a shaft nor break a shaft because the shaft does not exist. See if it exists really you can break. Can you break something which is imaginary? Can you kill your shadow? You can't fight with your shadow. So all you need to do is - not trying to break this shaft, not trying to elongate this shaft, just awakening, slapping yourself and understanding that shaft does not exist.

For example, you are dreaming as if a wild elephant is chasing you and you are shouting, “Save me! Save me! Help me! At least bring me some weapons.” If your wife just brings and gives you a rifle or a handgun, what will happen? You may shoot you or shoot her or shoot whom you don't know. That is not the right help at that time. What is needed? Just one slap. Hey, get up!

Here also your suffering or joy does not need elongation or disconnection. All you need, what? There's no such shaft. There's no such shaft. In you, what is going on is just a bunch of thoughts. Unconnected, independent, irresponsible, unclutched thoughts. By your very nature constantly inside you, independent, illogical unconnected, unclutched thoughts are moving. It is happening.

Can you, last, especially people who are sitting in the chair. Can you sit up and look, give Me your darshan.

Continuously thoughts are flowing in you but you do not look at the whole past as it is or the whole thoughts flow as it is. You just try to pick up what you want, connect and see, clutch and see your life based on the thoughts which you picked up. If you have picked up all the painful thoughts and connected, clutched and saw, you think your whole life is pain. If you picked up, see, you think about you as per your memory not as things happen.

Please understand, what you know about you, is not as you are, as you remember, that's all. The gap between ‘as you are’ and ‘as you remember’ is what I call illusion. The gap between ‘as you are’ and ‘as you remember’ is where the problem starts. You are not the person as you remember. Please understand, you are not the person who you think as you. Your thinking, your remembrance about you is the effort of clutching the wrong parts. The conveyor belt is going on, that's what is your being. Hundreds of parts are flowing in that. You pick up some random few parts and clutch them, fix them all together. This portion which should clutch because you yourself connected, you think this is you. It's like a 1 million flowers are there, different color, different size. You just pick up some 100 flower, here and there and make a garland. Can you say this garland represents that 1 million flowers? No, it cannot. What you think about you as you is nothing but few thoughts you picked up from the huge heap of thoughts and incidents, experiences happening in you.

Please understand, now. Now is an important truth. Whatever thoughts you picked up from that huge heap, things going on in front of you. You make a garland and create an idea that it is pain shaft or joy shaft. And you have an idea about you. Either you suffer with it or you cherish it. If you cherish, it is called pride, if you suffer it is called inferiority complex. But your pride or suffering, both are based on wrong information about you to you. Am I right? [“Yes”] Both are based on wrong information about you to you.