“don’t you understand, whoever wants it’s a choice for them.”

...don’t you understand, whoever wants it’s a choice for them. I don’t insist. Just I am saying that I can’t give for everybody. You understand? I can’t give for mass, because I don’t have time. It’s a simple logical, logistical thing, not a spiritual thing. In those days, earlier I used to give for everybody, they take it for granted. They take it for granted; no time. It has become too big problem.

So, I don’t say, I don’t mean to complicate also, it’s a simple decision. Whether you really want to use it or not. Hmm? Spirituality is inward journey, no doubt, but not for cowards who can’t face the simple problems. Surely not for the cowards who can’t face the simple problems, and the simple problems are okay, nothing wrong. It shows that you - you’re courageous enough to stand for what you’re believing. That’s perfectly alright.

I have seen many people don’t even want know their, first circle, to know that they’ are spiritually involved. And moreover, you see it’s a strong, it’s a courageous statement you are making to the society with which you are living, that I am - I am trying to live in a different way. Just don’t disturb me. I can, I can say one thing, the initial level only it will create little disturbances or unrest, but it will liberate you from many problems.

First actually, when you go back from this program, when they see big big mala and bracelet and everything, first few days they will be creating some unrest and all those things. After a few days they’ know that this fellow has gone crazy, nothing can be done. I know how the scene goes. Usually when you go back, suddenly the husband will see person is with big big mala, bracelet, and the new cloth, with the bindi, except one small stick and a flag, practically everything is done. And when you go back to the house, first thing, “What happened to her?” And the problem is you also don’t keep quiet. "Whole day this Namo Nithya is singing in the house, jumping is going on, and that poor guy, what will he do? You carry two big suitcase of books and in the house continuously some songs, discourses is going on. That poor guy.

And after 2-3 hours slowly when he is coming to the reality - coming to terms with the reality, that something has happened you start talking, “You should go and meet that Swamiji. You should go attend the program.” That guy says, “Keep quiet, I don’t have time for anything.” But you know how strong and stubborn you will be. For 2-3 days continuously you will be playing the discourse in loud voice, loud volume and music will be going on. And some 2-3 days you will be sitting early morning, “Mmmmm, mmmm, mmmm.” And that poor guy can’t sleep early morning. I am describing you the scene exactly how things happen. And, after one week, out of sheer tiredness, unable to withstand your joy, slowly when you are not there he will try to pick up the book which you put near bed and slowly see few lines. The moment he hears the sound of knocking the door, they just put the book back and sit. You also know but you also act as if you don’t know, and this goes on.

Suddenly people start calling you, and somehow he only will pick up the phone. They will ask, “I heard that your wife is healing, can I come for healing?” He can neither say yes nor say no. He will just call you, “Ey, can you attend your phone, Kamala?” You will say, “No, I told you long before my name is changed. Why are calling old name? You say, “Alright, I didn’t remember the name, please come Vidya. Please come and answer your phone.” Then he will see continuously for 3-4 days some 10 to 20 people are coming to your house everyday for healing. And naturally, 5th day or 6th day he will come and sit and watch what these guys are talking among themself. So naturally, he will see one or two cases coming and telling, “Oh, I had knee pain, it became alright. I had headache, it became alright. I had wheezing, it has come down.” Anyhow, he can neither say yes nor say no in front of public. He will keep quiet.

After 20 days, he will slowly call you, “See, last 2 days I am having headache and fever. I heard that you do something. If you want you can try. I don't have faith in all these things. No, I don’t have faith, if you want you can try. It’s after all nothing but sitting for a few minutes silently, I can sit. It’s nothing wrong. But I don’t believe in that young Swami with the photograph which you are having. Just I wanted to see.” Naturally, you will smile inside, but you can’t show outside. If you are too aggressive then this guy will say, "No!” So you put your hand, two-days healing will go on. Third day, “I think that medicine which I took two-days before worked. Today I am feeling better, but if you want for your satisfaction you can try once more.” You also can’t say anything, you will heal. He may not tell you, but he knows what has happened inside. So afterwards only, first time in front of you, he will pick up the book and try to see. When you ask, “How it - how you feel with the book?” “Sounds logical, but even then, I don’t believe in all these things. It’s okay.”

After one month, you want to come for some program, Jayanthi, Shivarathri or something. Naturally you will say, “I am going, why don’t you also come?” “I am not stopping what you are doing, don’t call me! Don’t try to convert me.” Naturally you will say, “No, I am not converting you, I am just calling. If you want you can also come.” “No, I am not interested, you can go! But I am not stopping you.” Means what, half ‘yes’.

Anyhow, finally, after 2 months, suddenly there will be some flexes, posters, banners everywhere, Nithya Dhyaan in your city. And this guy will come back to the house, “I heard that your young Swami is coming to our city. What is the program?” Then you will naturally tell, “It is a satsang, if you want you can come and attend. Meditation program.” “I don’t have time. It’s okay go, if you want, you can go.”

Just half an hour before the program, “Alright, after all there is nobody to drop you. I can just come at least for taking care of you. It’s okay, I will just see. But don’t force me to meditate and all, I will just come and see what He talks.”

He will come and sit. Anyhow, all three days program will be over, if you ask, “How do you feel with the program?” “Good, okay. But you are too much into it. He says to meditate, meditate and leave it, that’s all. Why wear so many malas, so many bracelet. Constantly from morning till night calling people and talking. You are too much into it. Don’t go overboard. Just be balanced.”

Anyhow, after two months, suddenly he sees in the magazine that there is going to be NSP. Without even telling you, silently he will register. And just 2 days before, slowly he will tell you, “I heard that you are going for volunteering to that program.” You will say, “Yes, yes, I am going to volunteer. Rarely we get the opportunity to be with Him.” “I think I don’t want to send you alone this time.” “What do you mean by you don’t want to send me alone this time?” “That, I will also come and be there and see what is going on.” Anyhow, you will laugh inside, but you will not tell anything. “It’s okay, if you want come and try, what is there?” Then naturally, the whole NSP will, will be there. It will be going on. In the gaps you will try to talk to him and he will say, “No.” He will be in silence.

After the NSP, after everything is over, when he lands in your house, next day morning suddenly you will see, in the next room also the same sound, “Mmm, mmmm, mmmm” is happening. Same time, but in two separate rooms. Two separate rooms, “Mmmm, mmmm.” Now it is too much. Now it is too much, naturally you will ask, “How do you feel? Now do you understand what I said is right?” He will say, “No! What Swamiji says is right. It sounds really truth. But you did not present me as He told. Because of you I delayed my meditation.” Again who is - who will be blamed?" See, what’s 'accepting Swamiji' is very easy, but accepting 'you are right' is very difficult. Accepting that 'Swamiji is right' is easy. But accepting 'you are right' is too difficult.

Anyhow, after one month, when somebody calls and says - asks, “Can I come for healing? Your - can you ask your wife and tell me what time I can come?” “No, today she is not there, but you can come, I myself, can heal you. No, I am also healer. Please come in the evening. I can heal you.” Here ends the show. That’s all. This usually happens, usually.

With the name, you will have the courage. See, that is the reason some of this outer things, not any otherwise. And moreover, please understand, whenever you want to use this portable knowledge, I don’t have a problem, you are free to use. Many people ask me, “All these meditation techniques, can I teach for others?” I tell, “You are free to use. It is not my property. Property of Buddha, Shankara, Mahaveera, Krishna. You have full freedom to teach. I don’t have a problem.” You can take all this knowledge, whoever wants can use, I have no problem.

I am clearly segregating the people who are here for portable knowledge, and the people who are here for non-portable experience. People who want non-portable experience -moreover, when you receive non-portable experience, really you feel like committing with your whole life. You won’t even feel, it will just happen. When you close your eyes, start meditation, you will be just sitting with your regular life and dress. When you open your eyes, suddenly you will see, you are with mala and bracelet. It just happens. So, it is only opportunity, I don’t say and even if you apply, if it’s more than 50 people - I think yesterday itself I told - I won’t be able to give. I will give only the 2nd batch, maybe after 15 days. I just wanted to restrict.