“Being unclutched in being couple.”

Being unclutched in being couple. How to be unclutched? Actually only if you are able to unclutch, you will be able to be a couple, without friction. Anything, which does not have intelligence to unclutch, will not able to clutch also without friction.

I tell you not just husband and wife, even with body and mind. You see actually body and mind are just like husband and wife only. If you know how to clutch and unclutch with body and mind, without creating friction, you will just know how to clutch or unclutch with the spouse. It’s a simple science.

What body wants is different, what mind wants is different. What man wants from a relationship is different, what woman wants from a relationship is different. So man has to decide to become woman to be in relationship. Woman has to decide, to become man to be in relationship. Woman should understand, she should become man and give what, what man wants. Woman, man should understand, he should become woman and share what woman wants.

Mind, should understand, it should become body and stand by the body as it wants. Body should understand mind and stand by the mind, as it wants. Then, Samsara is sannyas. Understand.

There is no such thing, that something is higher or something is lower, no. Somehow still unconsciously we have that. That is the reason even I need to use the word Samsara is sannyas no. Let us use the word Samsara is samsara. It’s the greatest Samsara. When you understand how to be in the other space, that is where the big problem comes. You go on talking, understanding, understanding only if you are in that problem you will understand Swamiji. It is impossible to understand. That’s one of the biggest practical problem, humanity is facing, from the time of Adam and Eve till now. The moment HE was made out of Adam’s rib, I think rift started.

Understanding. But you need to remember one thing. All great things are achieved by some effort. So you need to spend time and energy on understanding. No other way there is no short-cut for understanding. There is no short route for understanding. Understanding is the shortest route. No way. No other shortcut. Just decide for money, how you need to work, same way for relationship, good relationship you need to work, you need to be sensitive about the whole thing. Relationship is not a business. It is not a bargain. It is an art, where you need to spend time, energy, intelligence and create it. Or, just get out of everything and become a Sannyasi. You should have done that, of course not after getting married.

Sannyasis, individuals who don’t need to work for relationship. Same way, they will not have the many benefits of relationship. Relationship does have some benefits. Surely, they will not have that benefits. So if you are interested in the benefits of a relationship, no other way, you will have to work for it. And I tell you, if you can’t even work for one relationship, I don’t think you will be able to work for making your body and mind in tune, your life in tune. It’s not that easy job, that easy joke. If you can’t even work, with the visible part, how you are going to work with the invisible partner.

Understand, visible partner, invisible part. Visible part, invisible partner. You call it as part or partner. If you are not able to work with the invisible, how are we going to work with the visible? No. If you can’t even work with the visible, you can’t work with invisible. So I can say, working with the relationship itself is a Sadhana. I know many of you are thinking, it looks like Sadhana only Swamiji… Itself is a Sadhana. Maybe, I will give this one word as message for my couples day. This couples day message, learn to be unclutched, so that you can intensely, lovingly, deeply be clutched, without friction.

So the extraordinary joy of sharing love, can become lifestyle for couples. Please understand. It can become lifestyle for couples when you just know how to unclutch, where to put the boundaries, where the other person needs you, where you need yourself. The whole fight is you always... See, where other person needs yourself, saying no to that you feel as you need yourself, no. Your need to be with yourself and other person’s need for yourself, never clashes, understand. But you create the imagination, it clashes. Then, saying no to other person becomes an important identity for you. You start building your identity whenever you say no to other person. Or whenever your torture other person. We became slowly sadistic.

Thousands of marriages break everyday, just because of this misunderstanding. Saying no to other means saying yes to yourself. No. When you say no to others in ignorance, you are actually saying no to you. Because, you don’t really look in. Am I really saying yes for me? Or I’m just saying for the sake of no? No to the other person. Look in. If you look in, you will realize, never the yes to other person and yes to you, clashes, with each other. Yes to you, and yes to the other person never clashes. So you need to know the basic truth. You need to understand the basic truth. You need to remember this basic truth.

Saying, no to the other person is not always saying yes to you. Saying yes to you, is not always no to the other person. Saying yes, to the other person can be saying yes, to you. So, remember, this one thing. Look in, don’t handle your life with ignorance. Even if you have made the decision of marriage out of ignorance, don’t continue to live in ignorance. Ignorance can be disconnected. Ignorance can be destroyed, that is the greatness of ignorance. It can end. The greatest of knowledge, it never ends. Greatness of enlightenment, it never gets disconnected, or you never lose it. Greatness of ignorance is - it ends. It can be ended, consciously.

I bless you all, to end the ignorance consciously and I bless you all to live, to achieve, to experience, express, radiate and share the eternal bliss, the Nithyananda. Thank you.