“Is it possible to grow spiritually when your husband or wife is not…”

Is it possible to grow spiritually when your husband or wife is not interested in spiritual path?

I think today is a family get together. I think tomorrow is family gettogether. Everybody is today contemplating on the same problem. Today is I think, spouses’ day, hmmm, OK.

I think the growth in spirituality will happen deep way, in a much stronger way, if your husband or wife is not in tune. Because your deep engraved hatred towards them, or the anger against them, or the deep inside hatred will turn towards spirituality, will again and again be driving you, and be a driving force for you to go towards the spirituality. I can say, you should feel blessed the other person is not cooperating much. If the other person... really...There’s a one more small, story..

(01:26) One Bharatn mother, she is telling the husband: “I tried my best to make this fellow read spiritual books”, about his son, the son to read spiritual books. It was never successful. Husband says : “Don’t bother. I’ll make him read. Give me two days.” In two days, the guy started reading the books. Wife comes and asks the husband, “How did you manage it? How did this happen?” He said: “All I did is, I hid those books along with the books which he is not supposed to read, which he is not supposed to touch, that’s all.”

(02:14) So, in a way, things which are forbidden, or if somebody forbids you, somebody says no, you get deeper interest and do that more secretly and strongly. I have always seen, whenever I see the tug-of-war between the husband and wife, I never give permission for one person to leave. Because the tug-of-war, one year if he stays in the tug-of-war, his intensity is so beautiful. At least what I can give to him with ten year training is done in one year. No, it’s a reality! It’s a practical thing. See, without the tug of war, people who come even with our…in our Ashram I have seen, the Brahmachari’s who come without any problem with their parents, sometime very funny things, parents bring them and drop them in the Ashram and say: “Please Swamiji, see that they don’t come back”. They stay here permanently. That kind of Brahmacharis will never have intensity. I have never seen intensity in them, but the Brahmacharis or the Brahamacharinis who have all kinds of problem in the house but has the courage to take the risk and stand up, I have seen their intensity and their spiritual practice is so deep. They really mean what they’re doing.

(03:47) When the whole society is cooperating, you may not even mean what you are doing. Understand, you may not even mean what you are doing. It may be a time pass for you. Coming and sitting here maybe time pass project, TMP, time passing projects, TPP. It may not be a great thing but if there is so much of antagonism, if there is so much of problem, again you’re making it means it’s a question of survival for you. It is not just a luxury. It’s a basic thing for you. So I always feel the growth happens when your spouse is not interested or not in tune. The growth happens much deeper, much more beautiful way if you are alone. Actually, this is a path of Aloneness.

(04:44) People who have that attitude of “We”, go only to a certain extent. I’ve always seen the people who travel together as “We”, you should have a clarity, after sometime you can be together, no problem, but in the spiritual attitude, and path, both of you should decide, we will go, we may go with the same Master but we will walk with our own attitude. We will not depend on each other. Otherwise you will start comparing notes with each other and you will go only upto the level of the other person’s understanding, or you will try to bring the other person’s understanding down. Never do that. Never do that.

Coming as a couple to the Master is wonderful, but continuing may not be ultimate. After that you need to take a step. Yes, we’ll be together, it’s not that you need to be separated, but our attitude, our understanding, our relationship with Master, our growth, everything should be independent. Everything should be independent. I always tell people, the attitude of “We”, you can only run, you can’t fly. For flying you need to have the attitude of the clear individual path. (06:12)