“Q: Swamiji, You didn't look like what You are looking now.”

Q: Swamiji, You didn't look like what You are looking now. When the first time I opened there is a first time I ever saw anything with open eye, to me You looked like Ambal but in the kumari form, young girl and yellow like chandan like yellow face. Next time like dulhan but you are looking like a baby, not like what You are.

Swamiji: That is what. You will see the form in which you want to see the Divine. The Krishna says in Gita, “Whatever form you may call Me, I will come in that form and give you the darshan.” That is what he means. Whatever form you want to see, you can see in the Master’s form. You can have the Darshan of your Ishta Devata or your Guru in the Master's form. That is seeing a Master is a fulfillment of your tapas. What for we are doing puja, yagam, yagnam, ritual, all these things? Just to have the darshan of the god, have the darshan of your Ishta Devata, have darshan of your Master. When you see the enlightened man, you see them all. So it is fulfillment of the ultimate.

That is why in Chidagni, Chidagni Kunda is the ultimate yagna. In Lalitha Sahasranama, they say Chidagni Kunda sambhutayai. Chidagni Kunda is the Ajna Chakra. Doing meditation on the third eye is the ultimate yagam, ultimate homa. Doing ritual on the outer homa, outer agni is the starting level. Nothing wrong but starting level. But offering ghee into the outer homa is starting. Offering yourself into the Chidagni is the ending. Meditating on the third eye is the ultimate technique which gives you the darshan of your Master or the Guru or the God himself. Anything else?

Q: I really struggled with this meditation more than any other. I had like a maybe two seconds when my eyes were open and You just went into series of colors and shapes completely glowing and together it almost became like a thousand faces just in a glimpse and then I lost it.

Swamiji: That is a beautiful Upanishad which says Sahasra Sheersha Purusha Sahasraksha Sahasrapaat. When you concentrate on the third eye, these are all actually experiences of the rishis. When you work on the third eye, you see the thousand hands and thousands of heads and thousands of legs- the Divine in the form of thousands and thousands.

Q: With closed eyes I could kind of see them.

Swamiji: But you need to work little more, work on the third eye little more. When we want time to pass, it never passes.

Q: Swamiji, I have a burning question. In English, to mean the word surrender has a certain meaning but I know, today You talked about the difference between Sanskrit and English. Could You…because in this ideal concept of surrender to me is important point.

Swamiji: One thing, Sharan agati in Sanskrit, Sharan agati means the energy which continues to run your being, you surrender to that energy. Understand, when you give bread to your being, to your body, it converts the bread into blood. In machine, through machinery, if this process has to happen, they need machineries which occupies three kilometer length. The science says, to convert a piece of bread into blood, if they have to do mechanically, it needs the machineries which occupies the place of three square kilometers. Such a big work is happening in such a small body. There is a inbuilt energy, inbuilt intelligence, inbuilt mechanism, which runs your body and your mind. We don't believe that energy. We believe everything else and everybody else instead of the energy which moves our life. If it can convert your bread into blood, can't it take care of itself to take care of its bread? It can. You have your own inner intelligence to protect yourself, to keep yourself happily, joyfully and to grow in the further life but you don't trust that energy.

Your mind is so aggressive, so violent, to defend itself, it goes on offending everybody. When you try to defend you, automatically you offend everybody. The whole world in all the country they call their army a defensive army. Then who is offending? Every country says ours is a defense army, ours is defense army. Then who is actually offending? In course of defending, you offend. When you don't trust your intelligence, when you try to defend yourself, you continuously offend everybody. When you trust yourself, you neither defend nor offend others. You just relax into your being. Agati means the energy which makes you run, the energy which makes you move. Surrender has no way related to any Master or any Guru. Don't surrender it to Me. I again and again tell people, don’t catch My form. Surrender to the Divine Energy which runs you. Understand, surrender to the Divine Energy which runs you.

Q: Is there a connection between surrender and trust?

Swamiji: When the trust happens, you surrender. Till the trust happens you don't surrender. When the surrender happens, automatically you trust. That's all. That is the connection. The surrender in English means a wrong connotation. It is like a slavery but in Sanskrit, Sharanagati means it is real freedom. It is a step to freedom, step to tremendous inner freedom. When you surrender to the Existence, you totally relax. First time you will experience the tremendous freedom- freedom from fear, freedom from greed. It is the best freedom you can have in the life. You see, freedom for senses is not a great thing, freedom from senses is the greatest thing. Sharanagati means freedom from senses. Surrender is the ultimate freedom.

In the English language, surrender means it is like a slavery. You become a slave of somebody but I don't mean in Sanskrit it is not the meaning. Sharana agati, the tension or the worry which you take up to run your life, from that you relax. The energy is moving the whole world. The energy is moving the whole Universe. The energy which moves the Sun, Moon and the planet Earth and all these rivers. The energy which moves the rivers, can't it move your blood flow? It is moving. It is not even under your control. You cannot actually stop even a sneezing. Tell Me, can you stop a sneezing? Already it is working but what we think? We always think, because of us world is running. Be very clear, in spite of us world is running. When you think because of us world is running, you take up your ego; when you think in spite of us it is running, you surrender.

Q: I understand sort of one. Where does the self effort come then? You can say that I know that the doership we have to renounce.

Swamiji: One thing you see, the idea, self effort to surrender is the real self effort. Now for a long time, anything means you need to put your self effort. Even to relax you need to put your effort now because you know only in the language of doing. You do not know the language of being. Till you reach the language of being, do to reach the being. Work hard to relax. That is the thing.

Q: Be in your natural state.

Swamiji: See, whatever state you are, if you feel that I am not able to relax, I am not able to accept myself, accept that you are not able to accept. That's all. Surrender that you are not able to surrender. Tell the energy that I am not able to surrender. I surrender this quality. I surrender the quality that I am not able to surrender to you. That's all. Feel every breath is surrendered. Feel every inch of your movement is surrendered. Surrender that you cannot surrender. Surrender that you are not able to surrender. Accept that you are not able to accept. Even that is the greatest step.

Q: It is a freedom from senses.

Swamiji: Not only freedom from senses, freedom from the whole body. It is not that senses will not run. They will run more actively, more joyfully. The sensitiveness of the senses will become more active. Now because it is contaminated by worrying… you see, when the worrying stops, your eyes become more sharp. Your hands become more sensitive. Your ears become more alive. Your whole body becomes more vibrant. A special grace happens to your body. A special grace happens to your being. If you are continuously preoccupied, you will see even in the eyes, a dullness, deadness. Just a dead body. You will be walking almost like a alive dead. Alive dead are much worse than real dead people. At least they don't disturb others. Dead people don't disturb others. These alive people disturb everybody. Alive dead are more or less like ghosts. So if you surrender, your senses become more beautiful, more alive. Your consciousness will be free from your senses. Living and leaving is one and the same. If you live your senses, you can leave your senses. If you leave your senses, you can live your senses.