Heal your Inner, Outer and Life Images

So first thing I want to do today morning, just bringing you to the space of listening. Please understand, if you are not in the space of listening, the truths I am uttering, instead of transforming you, can be like a ego hurt. Understand, when I say… when I’m, for example when I make a statement - ‘We all are not one group of people, complete loosu’. You can take this statement to transform yourself or you can say, ‘How dare this fellow comes to the stage and says we are all mental. We are all loosu’. It is the space of listening which allows transformation through every word. Understand. So few minutes to create the space of listening. Ha… your listening decides… how much I am going to speak, you understand. The life lot of boredom has entered. That is why the listening is missing. Now, just few minutes, maybe it will be 5 to 10 minutes, sit and listen to this fan sound, somebody will sneeze, that sound. The accidental sound which may happen. Somebody will take the paper, somebody will move, somebody’s anklet. Now there’ll, there is no such thing as silence. Some sounds will be coming. Outside some construction works sound will come. You understand? Something or other will be happening. Listen to all the sounds. Like wait passively, any sound coming, any sound coming, without missing a single sound. For next 10 minutes… just close your eyes. Sit with a deep passive mood. Whatever sound is happening in and around you. Listen to all those sounds.

Today we will work on the root patterns. Listen, today we will start working on the root pattern. Let me define root pattern. The mental pattern... which you create about you… and... the way you project… and about the life and world. During that disempowemother ring, powerless moments, which repeats continuously in your life, and runs through your life. Listen, I’ll repeat. The thought pattern, the idea, the statement you make about you, and about how you are going to project you to others, and about life and world. During the disempowering moment, extreme powerless moment, which repeats itself in you again and again is root pattern. Let me expand. Three word. Mamakara, means the inner image. Mamakara means inner image. Ahankara, means your outer image. Sva-Anyakara, understand,third word I am introducing. Sva-Anyakara means your image about life and others. For example like ‘Life is always out there to get me.Everyone is there to cheat me.’

Listen, today we will deepen our experience…. deepen our understanding about our Mamakara, and also discover… how our Mama… Ahankara. Please understand, we will deepen our understanding about inner image, actual inner image. And also discover why our actual outer image is the way it is All of us know we have a outer image, Ahankara,but we don’t know why we built it in such a way. The way it is. It is like why you do things the way you do things. Why you project you the way you project you. We will discover that now. And Sva-Anyakara, which is our image about others and life. How this Ahankara and Sva-Anyakara took shape. Please listen. All of you are able to understand what I am saying? First thing you need to know. All three happens spo… simultaneously.

Listen. Listen. I give you the example. Once, when your brother was beating you, as a three year old child, the Mamakara will be, ‘I am weak, powerless’. The Ahankara will be ‘I am powerful. I will not allow anyone to attack me’. And Sva-Anyakara, means your image about others and life is, ‘life is there out only to torture me. I am always tortured’, That is Sva-Anyakara. All of you are able to get it? All of you are able to cognize what I am saying? The difference between the three - inner image, outer image, your image about life. Please listen. Please listen. First thing you need to know, your Mamakara, your Ahamkara, your Sva-Anyakara. In English, your inner image, outer image, your image about life. All these three are intertwined. They arise together, as one. That’s the first thing you need to know. Second, at a vulnerable, intense, incomplete moment of the past, when you are really in this, you feel you are facing the survival threat, completely powerless. Your Mamakara, means your inner image arises out of disempowering cognition, and took shape in you. Means, your inner image will be always disempowering you.

How many of you cognize what I am saying? Your inner image will be always disempowering you. It is your mother-in-law sitting inside you permanently. Constantly nagging. Very rarely people get good mother-in-laws. Means, if they are dead. No, there are some mother-in-laws haunt you even after death. See my grandmother is died, my father is died, father’s mother is died, my mother is a sannyasini. Still if you tell my grandmother’s name, her mother-in-law’s name, she will shiver. No really! My father is dead. His fa... mother is dead, who is my mother’s mother-in-law. And she is a sannyasini already, and now her life, only one person who can change or do anything to her life is me. Other than me, there is nobody involved in her life. Buts even now, if you tell mother-in-law’s name, she will shiver. I don’t know. Some root pattern only (Swamiji laughs).

Anyhow, understand. Listen. This moment, when you are faced with a perceived survival threat,you create inner image. Along with this disempowering cognition you got about yourself, two things will happen simultaneously. Listen. See when you create a disempowering cognition about you, inner image, two thing will happen simultaneously at the same time. You also got disempowering cognition about others and life. And, you also projected an artificially built pseudo empowered image about you to others. That is what is Ahankara. Listen. One of the biggest problem I face is, for this whole concept I cannot give you from my personal experience. I don’t have a single… I, I tried my best. Even once I have not felt powerless from the birth. No the biggest problem is, because of that I am not able to give you ex, my personal life experience. But I think all of you are able to understand. Am I right? All of you are able to understand. Listen. Please understand. When you got a disempowering inner image about you… you create a pseudo empowered image about you for survival sake and project that to the world. Understand. Artificially built up pseudo empowered image about you to others.

It is like a… you create one and get two free (Swamiji laughs). The inner image you create, and your image about others and life… and the image you project to others, these two you get free. All of you understand? See, you do not relate with the world the same inner image you created about you. Do you relate with the world? No. Even yesterday, 80% of you did not introduce yourself with actual inner image. Even if you say, ‘Yes sir, I’m a failure (Swamiji shakes hand), talking to you’. Then immediately you change and tell your other name, your Ahankara, and try to know about their Ahankara. Even for one hour, in one session, you don’t want to relate with the world with which is actually you are carrying from your… literally from your birth. Maybe from the age of 3 or 4. From that time you know about you, this is the first word you know about you. Am I right? Mamakara is the inner image is the first word you know about you. From the time you know about you, till now, you never relate with the people, world, with what you feel as you.

Tell me, with integrity and authenticity, how many of you yesterday, honestly did not relate with everyone with your actual inner image, and went on flip-flopping? Raise the hand. No, I can tell you 80%. Because if you go with the real actual inner image, there will not be a place for laughing, joking around, socialising. Here is a fool standing… and here is a failure, failure is shaking hands with the fool… what socialising can happen there? Understand? Alternative compensating cognition. Listen. I’m throwing a big word. Alternative compensating cognition you built about you to others is Ahankara. Alternative compensating cognition. All of you are getting it? It’s a keyword. If you want, note down. No, whoever wants.

Alright, now please drop the pen and paper. Please listen carefully. In order to survive and escape from the perceived confrontation and suffocation… a perceived confrontation and suffocation that you had in an intense comp… incomplete moment of your past. See when you felt the survival threat, incompletion... please understand, in order to survive and escape from that suffocation and confrontation… intense, incomplete moment in your past, in order to escape from that cognition, which left you in deep incompletion, you grabbed and held to an alternating compensating cognition. All of you are able to cognize what I am saying? Anybody if you are not able to cognize, please raise your hand. So that, I’ll explain. Alright.

Swamiji: Can anyone come and explain the incident from which you got your root pattern? Can you come to the mike? Doctor, can you, can you come? Can you come? Yes doctor.

Doctor: Swamiji this was when I was around 6, 6 ½ years old.

Swamiji: Hmmm.

Doctor: Aah… I was very naughty at that time and the, I did something which err… for the first time really angered my father, and the we were living on the second floor of a flat in Mumbai. And he just lifted me. He took me to the balcony and said, ‘I’ll throw you down.’

Swamiji: Oh…

Doctor: And that really shook me.

Swamiji: Oh, oh, oh…

Doctor: Since that day I have been quite scared of my Dad err… even though he was very friendly actually. So err… that was the turning moment.

Swamiji: It’s ok. Can you tell, what was the inner image you created about you? The actual inner image.

Doctor: Image was I was totally powerless.

Swamiji: Ah, ‘I’m powerless’.

Doctor: And the I didn’t want to show that.

Swamiji: Ah yes. So, you will create a alternative, compensating cognition to show to others. What was that?

Doctor: Uhhh…

Swamiji: Can you get that statement?

Doctor: That I, I started the building a wall around...

Swamiji: No, no, you usually it’ll be opposite. ‘I am powerful!’ You understand? Usually it’ll be related to the inner image. Hmm… and then, what was the uhhh… uhhhh... image you created about others and life?

Doctor: Uhh… I perceived the most elders or authoritative figures as a scary.

Swamiji: No, life… no, no, it’s about life.

Doctor: Hmmm…

Swamiji: See that you, you exactly the statement you created, tell me that. All you guys are getting it? The online cities?

Doctor: The uhh… uhhh cognition I had was life is very uhh... scary.

Swamiji: Hmm (nods), that's it. And immediately what all the actions you did after you came out of your Dad’s hands?

Doctor: Hmm… immediately on, on that moment I, I think I just ran to my mother.

Swamiji: No that is one thing, then…

Doctor: Uhh, uhh... But later, I started the avoiding tactics or, uhh... not confrontational, but not to show any weakness.

Swamiji: Hmm, ahh… not to show any weakness… that is the Ahankara statement. You understand? Getting it?

Doctor: Yes Sir.

Swamiji: So all of you are… understand, behaving politely... is nothing but not to show any weakness. How many of you are able to cognize? So throughout your life you will be behaving politely. You understand? I can say that behaving politely is one of your strength. Am I right?

Doctor: Yes Sir.

So now come on, let the whole group tell me… how many of you understa… cognize what now doctor said that three statements clearly? You see, doctor behaving politely is great. It has produced many good results in your life. But, it is out of wrong reason. So it won’t bring fulfillment. You understand what I am saying? It’s now doctor has given one example. Now look into each one of you. Still any of you are not able to understand these three statement, raise your hand. Still you are not able to understand? Can you come to the mike? That any quality you develop, out of that compensating alternative cognition, it’ll bring success, it may bring success. But it won’t bring fulfillment. Yes.

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Swamiji: You see, whenever you build a disempowering inner image, you can’t actually use the same to relate with everyone. It is too suffocating. So you build up a pseudo image with which you will bring the hope of survival. Understand?

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Swamiji: Hmm.

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Swamiji: Many time we do not allow anybody to enter into us. That is politeness.

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Swamiji: See politely saying no

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Swamiji: It is not that always rudeness is required to say no.

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Ahankara can never fulfill you because it is based on incomplete. Let me expand on these three statements first. Inner image, the image you project to others - alternative compensating cognition. And, your image about life and others. All of you are able to cognize these three concepts? Anybody who is not able to cognize these three raise your hand. Ok that’s good. So we will move to the next? Now, I wanted each one of you… listen. Now I wanted each one of you to sit with you…. and dig out. Sit with you and dig out from the earliest memories of your life, where you experienced conflict. Relive the whole situation in the mirror. Sit with mirror and relive the whole situation again. The earliest memory of conflicting situation. Note down in that situation your actual inner image statement… your actual inner image statement. Your Mamakara statement, means the statement about you.

Second, your actual outer image statement. Your Ahankara statement, the statement you… how you project you to others. Third, your actual image about others and life, your statement about life and others in your life. It will usually be ‘life is out there to harass me. Life is out there to get me. Life is always denying what I want’. It can be anything. Now identify and write down all the three statements. Clear? All of you are clear? Shall we start the process now? Yes, please get your mirror and spread all over the hall.

Let me ask how many got the, all the three statements? How many have not got all the three statements? Few…. ok. I’ll help. I’ll help those few. People who got, please come, come to the mike. Come on, go ahead.

Person: So the uhhh… there were two incidents that I used Swamiji, it was similar to how I found the Mamakara yesterday. Ummm what my Mamakara was, I am always being attacked. That was, see what happened was, I was 3 ½ years old, I went downstairs there was a shop. So I went there, I was just sitting there talking to them. And then I spent about an hour there, he is my dad’s friend. I came back up. So my dad asked me, ‘Why the hell are you going there? You’re not supposed to go there.’ At that moment I felt I am attacked. So the survival instinct was, I want to be wanted now. I want to be wanted, ‘Oh they are attacking me but I want to be wanted’.

Swamiji: Ahhh… So, tell me… no no no, tell me the Mamakara statement.

Person: I’m always being stopped / attacked.

Swamiji: Yes, what is the Ahankara you are projecting?

Person: I want to be wanted now.

Swamiji: Yes, hmmm. So what is the Sva-Anyakara you have?

Person: Why everyone is always out there to betray me.

Swamiji: (laughs) All of you are getting it? See, its just the example for everyone to get it.

Person: It is very evident Swamiji. This want, this attention need and fear of everyone. Including parents, everyone I fear.

Swamiji: Including me, you behave with the same pattern only with me also.

Person: And that’s how I found out Swamiji.

Swamiji: (laughs) See, no I am the... if you, if you already have a acquaintance with me, means for last more than one year you know me. You come and go, attend programmes, and volunteer, some way you are connected. If you know, then understand, the way you behave and react to me. With that you can catch all the three patterns, because every moment I’ll hit only that three patterns... you are carrying. Simply I’ll hit only that. Only there I’ll be hitting. And any behaviour of mine, it’ll be such a simple but it’ll exactly hit there only. Understand? Because I am larger than your life. 30:17 So all the erm… see, it’s like a who sticks out the neck, their neck is cut. Same way, the these three patterns are only sticking their neck out in your bo… being. So when they come near ungh… That’s what is sticking the neck out, and tuk, tuk, tuk. It’ll always be hit there.

Person: Uhm one thing is, until this IA programme Swamiji, from the last 6 months, anytime I interacted with you, I had fear looking at you.

Swamiji: Hmm I know, I know that… suffocation. Okay. Great, you got it. 30:54

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