“Animals don't get married and live a free life.”

Animals don't get married and live a free life. Why should we get married and suffer? Is there anything that is in a marriage that is not provided for animals? It is a very controversial question. I thought first when I read I will avoid, but marriage is my favourite subject, I don't want to avoid. First let Me answer. See, here he is asking, “Animals don't get married and live a free life. Why should we get married and suffer? Is there anything that is in a marriage that is not provided for animals?”

(1:15) Yes! yes! animals take birth as polygamous and die as polygamous. Human being, in seed, in potential form, when he is taking birth he is polygamous. But he should not die as polygamous. He should become monogamous. Understand that is what is maturity. Suddenly you will see when you start growing inside you, the deep friendliness, the deep friendliness liberates you from lust. Please understand, just yesterday in our Ashram I was discussing about this. In our ashramites meeting I was telling, I was taking classes for My brahmacharis about the celibacy and sanyas. There was some very intimate questions and answers, sessions was going on. There I made a statement, a very important truth. It is not just for Swamis, even for everyone, we need to understand. A deep friendliness will completely replace the need for lust. It’s a very important sutra, it’s a very important sutra. Usually in marriage a deep hatred replaces the lust.

(2:53) A small story: A 30 year old guy goes to a doctor. After thorough checkup, medical checkup doctor says, “Your health is not for married life. You have to completely drop physical relationship. You have to be celebate, alone.” This guy says, “No-no, I am just 30. I cannot suddenly quit. I cannot suddenly stop. Give me some other alternative.” He says, “All right, then marry, slowly it will automatically taper down.”

Understand, a deep hatred starts replacing the need for lust. But the truth is a deep friendliness can replace the need for physical relationship. If the deep friendliness replaces the need for physical relationship that is what we call Vanaprastha. In The Vedic tradition; ripened married life. When the married life gets ripened, it’s called Vanaprastha. In the Vedic marriage there is a beautiful Aashir Vachana means the blessing statement. During the marriage the blessing is given to the women: ‘let you become your’. To the man the blessing is given: ‘let you become the 11th son of your wife’. For her the blessing is given: ‘let you become the 11th daughter of your husband’. Means after 10 years of living together, the deep friendliness, if it grows, suddenly you will see the need for the physical relationship comes down, tapers down. So I really feel the marriage system has something to contribute. At least our masters had something in their heart when they created this system of family. So surely marriage system has something to add to you than the animal life. I can say deep friendliness, I can say it’s like a; the physical relationship is more like confirming whether the other person is still in need of me or still the other person wants me or still the other person loves me or not. If that guarantee, the confirmation, the other person is in love with you, the other person really needs you, the other person will miss you, the other person loves you, if that confirmation, that security settles down in both hearts, suddenly you will see the need for physical relationship comes down. I can say that is what is the gift of the, that is what is the fruit which you are supposed to have from the proper marriage system. I can say that is the thing which animals cannot experience. A polygamous man can never experience this. Polygamous man can ever experience what I am saying. That guarantee, insurance the other person loves you will never be experienced by a polygamous person. If you experienced that you lived a pure fulfilling life. The life of the real grihasta, the vedic traditional grihastha. (6:52)