Your Path to Euphoria!

Please understand, I have seen many yogis. Not yogis, who think they are yogis, who think they are yogis. They go on and on and on torture themselves. They torture themselves so much they can't tolerate. Please understand, they can neither stop torturing nor they can tolerate their own torture. I have seen people fighting with themselves especially with wrong ideas, many wrong ideas. They misinterpret yoga and they become masochists. They start torturing themselves. I have seen, especially during My wandering. I have seen people torturing themselves and feeling that they are big yogis. I have seen one guy standing on one leg for twelve years. No, really. I went to him just to pay respect to his tapas. I saluted him and I asked him, “Why are you standing? Do you have any purpose for this?” That fellow is such a fool. He doesn’t even have the idea of Enlightenment or anything. He is not able to answer. Then I just kept quiet.

When all the crowd left, I asked him, “Can you tell Me at least now the reason?” He said, “Baba, in the initial when I started standing, it was like a exercise. When I saw so many people are giving me attention and I started enjoying the attention. Finally it became my lifestyle.” Please understand, he is torturing himself. Practically one leg is dead. It is no more part of his body. It is dead. He is crippled but this guy goes on thinking he is doing some great thing. Many time the greed, the fantasy is turned towards us and you will never be able to come out of that torture which is created if the fantasy is turned towards you. I can say, that is the worst thing. Many time these yogis cannot enjoy themselves. Not real yogis, who think they are yogis, the masochist people. They become sadists also. They become sadists also. They start torturing others.

Actually one incident happened. From January till March, all of us, I think one big group of our devotees and brahmacharis and brahmacharinis, all of us were walking, doing Pada Yatra. During that Yatra, we were crossing one city. There was a temple. Some of My brahmacharinis, young girls, who took brahmacharini Diksha, those girls were just laughing and walking, doing the Yatra. There were few guys who think themselves as yogis, who think themselves as yogis. Outside every temple in South Bharat you will see one bunch of beggars sitting in the yogi dress and they talk all great vedanta. They will be torturing themselves and torturing others. Many time these so-called yogis, they torture themselves.

Please understand, the vikalpa needs to be understood in a very deep sense. Imagination not only related to others, imagination related to you also will bring torture to you. You will be torturing yourself. When you torture yourself, naturally you will give that to others. You won't give headache to others if you don't have one. Please understand, you can't give it to others if you yourself don't have. If you are giving it to others, you need to be clear, you have one…. Many time these so-called yogis start torturing themselves. If you have fantasy towards others, at least they will teach you that it is a fantasy, come down; but if you have fantasy about yourself, there will be nobody to teach you. You will continue to torture, torture, torture yourself. You will continue to suffer. You will continue to suffer with that vikalpa and the next level is much worse.

If you have fear about others, at least at some place where the other person is not there, you will be free. You will not have that fear. If you start creating fear about yourself, you can never escape from that, you can never escape from that. I have seen many people. They start creating fear about themselves. They start creating fear about themselves. They can never be free. They can never relax. They can never be at ease with themselves…. It is a... I can say, the worst hell. If they start creating fear about themselves, they can't live in joy, live in bliss. This story, beautiful story:

One Zen master was walking near a river. One young lady was standing. She asked him, “Please can you help me to cross the river?”

The master was with his disciple, young disciple. Master said, “No problem.”

He just carried her and left her the other side, came back. Young disciple can't tolerate an enlightened person, a monk, “How can you lift her? How can you touch a young lady first? How can you lift her and help her to cross the river?” He is not able to tolerate but somehow he kept quiet. When they reached the monastery, he asked, “How can you touch her and lift, help her to cross the river? Is it not wrong?

The master looks at him and says, “I left her long before. Why are you still carrying her? I left her there itself. Why are you still carrying her?”

He has his own fears about himself. Please understand, he has deep fears about himself. That is why he can't relate with the reality. He can't relate with the other person. He can't relate with the other person. In Ramakrishna’s life there is a beautiful incident. He lived with Sarada Devi till the end. They lived such a wonderful life. Many time he was criticized for living with his wife in the temple, in the Dakshineswar temple but he lived such an amazing life. The relationship between them was such a wonderful relationship. You can't describe it, can’t describe it. The real yogi relationship. He always used to answer them, respond to them that they are afraid of themselves. That is why they are afraid of the outside person.

Please understand, if you are afraid of the other, at least when the other person is not there, you will not have the fear. If you are afraid of yourself, it is like a fear of ghost. It will continue to be there. It will continue to haunt you. It will continue to shake you. It will continue to frighten you. It is a worst thing somebody can have. I have seen many time. This so called yogis criticize Me, “What is this? You are sitting in such a big throne and so many disciples are serving You?” I tell them, “I don't have fear I will get attached to it. You have fear. That is why you are afraid of it.” I have seen many people. They are afraid of handling wealth. Please understand, renouncing because of fear is not renunciation. Many time people don't want responsibilities not because that they don't want the freedom which responsibility gives. Just because they don't know how to handle the responsibility. The fear of responsibility, the fear of life, they start acting I renounced everything.

I have seen in Himalayas, the so-called yogis. They leave their house, everything and come and settle down in a small temple. They will settle down in Himalayas. They will sit outside the temple for their food, taking bhiksha for begging. They will become attached to that spot. Nobody else can sit in their spot. They will fight for that spot. They left their property, they left their house, they left everything and came here. Now they will be fighting for the two feet by two feet place. Means what? They did not renounce because they don't want. They renounced because of the fear of responsibility. Many time you start renouncing because of fear of responsibility. No. When you are sitting in this, one side you may have the fear. Two kinds of fear. One, you need to maintain this. Second, you may get attached to this and start suffering. If you are renouncing because of these two fears, no, that is no way going to help.

I have seen many people renouncing for various reasons but it is not renunciation. It is doing the same thing through the other way. I have seen people. They renounce all their gold, wealth, everything and come away to Himalayas with one kamandalu, water pot; but they will get so attached to that pot, they will wash, wash, wash, wash, wash that pot whole day and keep it shining. I know one Baba. He is called Kamandalu Baba. All he does is six hours per day he will wash that kamandalu. First he will wash with sand, then he will wash with tamarind, then he will wash with powder, then he will apply ash on that. When he is... that kamandalu, that water pot became his brand. Many time people do that. It is not renunciation, doing it in the other way. I have one more story for you about that:

This guy goes into a bar and orders three separate shot glasses of Irish whiskey. He drinks all three. He does this day after day after day after day. The bartender finally says, “You know I can put all three of those shots into one glass for you.”

The guy says, “No, I prefer it in this way. See, I have two brothers. They are abroad. I love them. This glass right here feels that I am drinking for each one of them. I feel all three of us are together here and drinking.”

And the guy continues to come in day after day, day after day, does the same thing. The bartender also continues to set up three glasses.

One day the guy comes with a long face and says, “Give me two shots today.”

The bartender is shocked. He thinks something wrong has happened. He asked, “What happened? Did something happen to one of your brothers?” Bartender asked.

“No, no, no,” the guy says. “They are okay. It is just that I decided to quit drinking.”

Understand, all our renunciation is more or less like this. You decide to quit drinking but you go on drinking. We renounce maybe the fear of maintaining or fear of attachment. If you renounce because of fear of maintaining or fear of attachment, please be very clear, you will be surely enjoying in some other way. That is what Krishna calls beautifully ‘Mithyacharaha’- hypocrite, who is renouncing physically but enjoying in some other form. I can say, one of the worst curse happened to Bharat is this mithyachara, this mithyachara. In course of time, people have started renouncing because of their fear of attachment, fear that they may get attached or that fear they have to maintain. Out of that when they started renouncing, they never achieved yoga and people have started thinking this renunciated, these guys have become yogis. No!

Understand, renunciation which happens because of vikalpa is not yoga. Many people come to Me and say, they brag, “I got such big job, Swamiji. I had this big house. I decided to live a simple life and renounce.” No, relax! It is not true. You decided to quit drinking, that's all. That's all, it is not renunciation. Look inside. Many time, many time people come and tell Me, “I lived a simple life. I never hurt anybody. I do everything good. I follow dharma. See, why then problems come to me? Why difficulties come to me?” Be very clear, your renunciation is not based on understanding. It is based on fear of attachment or fear of maintenance. That is not renunciation. If you are renouncing because of fear of attachment or fear of maintenance, better you enjoy, live. You are not yet riped for renunciation. Don't take that big step. Don't be arrogant to renounce. Sometimes out of our ego, arrogance, we renounce. No. There is a zen story, beautiful story:

One disciple in a monastery, he understood humbleness is practiced in the monastery. He started acting too humble. In Sanskrit we have a proverb ‘Ati vinayam dhoortha lakshanam’- the guy who is behaving too humble is cunning. This guy started behaving to humbly, “What do I know? What can I do? What can I tell?” I have seen many people doing that. One Guru told the disciple, “Please press my feet. Do little massage to my feet.” “No no no, I am a fool, I am a sinner. How can I touch your feet?” Somebody brought some fruits. Guru touched it. Immediately disciple ate the whole thing. The disciple asked, “What happened?” No, your prasadam. You touched it. How can it go waste? It should not be thrown as waste. Somebody has to eat. There was nobody around me.” Using words, using words, using situations. This guy started behaving too humble. Then zen master says beautifully, “You are not that great. Don't behave that humbly.”

You renounce even because of too much of fantasy. I have seen. They go on fantasizing about billions of dollars but they were able to make only very little. Then they decide, “I am not interested in living with this” and they throw that away and go away for something else. It is not renunciation. They are not able to tolerate with the reality because of their fantasy. Many time people renounce because of their fantasy and because of their fear. Even if renunciation happens because of your fear or fantasy, it is vikalpa. Please understand, it is only imagination. It is not renunciation. These guys, whenever I tell, “If you are a sincere seeker, wealth, health, everything is attracted towards you.” In the Kalpataru, I speak about this subject. Last Kalpataru I was talking about this.

One seeker, the so-called seeker, the professional seeker, that guy came to Me and said, “Swamiji, I am a seeker for last twenty five years. I am broke, I am sick. You say a sincere seeker will always attract whatever he needs around him. What is happening with me? Nothing is happening. I am neither attracting wealth nor attracting health.” I told him, “Look inside. You would have renounced because of fear of maintenance, not because of renunciation. It wouldn't have happened because you don't want that. Maybe it has happened because you don't want to maintain that.”

Many time we drop objects, we drop relationships, not because we don't want it, just because we can't maintain it, just because we can't maintain it. So be very clear, that is not renunciation. That is escaping. That is vikalpa. That is vikalpa. You don’t look inside the scene and understand. You don't exactly look inside and you superficially think and get frightened. Whenever you look superficially, it will always be fear. It will always be fear.