Verse 12.17🔗

Kṛṣṇa now goes into another level of controlling the mind. He now refers to one who does not love or hate—yo na haṛṣyati na dveṣṭi. He is not talking about not loving anyone. When we love the way we do, with conditionality and expectations, it works well as long as these expectations are fulfilled. When something does not work the way we wish it to, the love disappears like a dewdrop in the sun. In its place, hate appears. Hatred and love are opposite sides of the same coin as long as love is conditional. Love can flip into hatred in a moment, the moment we feel that our expectations are threatened.

In love of this type, there is external rejoicing, sharing of joy and happiness and public expression of happiness as long as the emotion remains. Often, love or what we believe is love is related to time and space. So long as the distance is large and the time of contact is minimal we see a few defects in those we profess to love. Once we get closer and spend more time, we see the real picture. It can also convert love into hatred. To transcend love and hatred which are two different expressions of the same perceived reality, we need to drop expectations. We need to develop a sense of non-attachment.

We need to be complete in our love. We all go through several stages of relationships in our lifetime. As children, we are totally dependent upon parents. Our parents influence us and our love for our parents is conditional. We love them only because there is no option. To survive, a child must depend upon its parents. As Bhakti Yogaḥ Love Is Your Very Life 919 we grow into adolescence, we question many things we took for granted as an infant or a child; therefore, teenagers rebel. They wish to be independent. They break rules. In adulthood, we learn that to survive and coexist, we need to follow societal rules and regulations.

We develop skills to get along with others. We learn to work and relate with others. Otherwise, we may become misfits in society. The single most important lesson that people learn in adulthood is that it is important to relate with people meaningfully. As we grow and mature, and the spirit and its development become important, we seek guidance. We look for a Master. With the Master, the relationship is the reverse of what we started with as a child. We are once again concerned about survival, but it is the survival of the spirit and not the mind or body. To help in this survival of the spirit, the relationship that we need with the Master is one of absolute dependence once again, but with a difference.

For the relationship to work, it now needs to be totally unconditional and based upon deep trust. The only relationship that will work with the Master is total and unconditional love out of completion. It is absolute surrender. Surrender transcends love and hate. When one is in a mood of total surrender to the Master or the Divine, both being one and the same, the concept of good and evil, sin and merit disappear. In a spiritual sense, there is nothing that is a sin. No one is sitting up there with a notebook and pencil and deciding whether we should go to hell or heaven by measuring our sins.

There is no hell or heaven. Hell and heaven are not geographical. They are psychological, within our mind. We commit sins because we are already in our own hell. We do well to others when we are in our space of heaven or bliss. Kṛṣṇa breaks the mold. He tells us, ‘Go beyond good and evil, śubha-aśubha parītyāgī (12.17).’ He says this because there is no such thing as good and evil. It is all in our mind. When we understand this truth we are in His realm. That’s His promise. This Is Whom I Love